Resume roast

Resume Roast

Your resume, honestly roasted.

Upload your resume for an exhaustive, section-by-section roast - recruiter thoughts, ATS risks, dimension scores, and prioritized fixes.

Applying to something specific? Check resume fit instead

How it works

What you get

Six-second skim narrative
See exactly what a recruiter thinks in the first pass - before they decide to keep reading or move on.
10+ deep section burns
Multi-paragraph roasts with evidence quotes, recruiter inner monologue, and a fix hint per burn.
Recovery plan & rewrites
A step-by-step roadmap to make it hireable, plus before/after bullet rewrites pulled from your resume.
Worst offenders & ATS risks
Exact phrases that hurt you, plus parser risks so you know what machines and humans both hate.

From upload to full autopsy

01
Upload your resume
PDF, DOCX, or TXT - no job description needed.
02
Pick a role track
Shapes the humor and what counts as a buzzword vs. proof.
03
Read the full roast
Scorecard, six-second scan, deep burns, ATS concerns, and prioritized fixes.

What you get

See exactly what a recruiter thinks in the first pass - before they decide to keep reading or move on.

Multi-paragraph roasts with evidence quotes, recruiter inner monologue, and a fix hint per burn.

A step-by-step roadmap to make it hireable, plus before/after bullet rewrites pulled from your resume.

Exact phrases that hurt you, plus parser risks so you know what machines and humans both hate.